Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Sausage, Mustard and Perogi

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Yes, lunch today was absolutely fart-tastic. Of course, once I was done with my two heaping portions, the rumbles began...I pretended to go outside and talk on my cellphone, and boy, did I emit a few beauties. Thankfully it is winter, and cold, so nobody has their window open. If they did they would have heard my trumpeting from a hundred yards away.

All in all, an average day. The odd internal thunderclap, but nothing to worry about. It's only 1:15 though, so I have a few hours to get through. Once that sausage gets into the zone, we'll be looking at a whole other ball-game. Gonna be some proper struggles down the road, so wish me luck, fellow trumpers.

Tomorrow it's roast turkey for lunch, no doubt with some lovely sauce to get the gasses expanding in the gut. Right now, I can feel a succession of soccer ball sized spheres of methane swelling up just the other side of my sphincter, swelling and contracting, as the pressure is absorbed into my system. Damn that fucking kielbasa! Jesus, it's like sitting on some kind of weird gas-based fairground ride, but screaming must be kept to a minimum. It's gonna be a long afternoon.

Until next time...
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